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Where Am I ?

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M I X E Y View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote M I X E Y Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 16 2011 at 7:53am
Going through some medical issues with Mom.

Am reading however, and appreciate all.

Will be in touch.

Thanks,

Mixey
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gene_Leone_Mix Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 16 2011 at 10:25am
Mixey!!!

Hoping all is well again very, very soon.
Hang in there.
~MuchLoveTo Both of You, Geno
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jeff Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 16 2011 at 7:16pm
What Geno said! Give your Mom our love.
Jeff
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote toad Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 16 2011 at 7:42pm
        I have faith your Mom will be OK, Mixey.
  Tell her we all say hi, and get well soon.
 Toad
Down, and nearly out in Detroit......
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote M I X E Y Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 11 2011 at 11:12pm
I've been delivering all of your well wishes to Mom. She appreciates them very much. Thank you.

We are decorating for Christmas and the place is looking festive. Mom is cooking up a storm. All of this activity in the face of still not knowing what's up medically is underlying this however.

Honestly they take so long, and the waiting and uncertainty is more sickness producing than anything we're starting out with. Mom feels fine and looks great, but yet it's pretty hard not to witness that the seed on her thigh is turning into a watermelon. More tests this coming week. Hopefully they will find that everything is benign. She had an operation in the same area years ago for a lipoma (a benign growth). It grew back and she had it removed again. Hopefully it's more of the same.

Today, I semi woke up around 10 AM to my cell phone ringing. I didn't answer it, because I was still half asleep , and so it went to voicemail.

The message was from Pam... Travis' girlfriend / ex girlfriend / they were talking about getting back together girlfriend / still not a faithful person girlfriend / girlfriend who told him she wants "a real boyfriend"... not him, but meanwhile she'll go ballistic if he sees someone else kind of ex girlfriend.

She was crying on the message, as she said she had just googled Travis and it said that he died March 31st 2009. She said she loves him and she hopes it isn't true and she feels bad and she wants to see him again and she's so sorry.

I responded to the universe by eating 3/4 of a whole box of Breyers coffee ice cream.

Mixey
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote toad Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2011 at 7:00am
        In my lame way to console you after reading
 about Pam's phone message, I will submit a personal
 story that I was confronted with in the past.
         At twenty years old,in 1965 I was drafted into the
 Army. At that time,My Father was a chronic alcoholic..
 along with my step-mother who I supported once I
 graduated from high school. When I came home from
 my short Army stint, My Dad divorced and was very
 sick.
        The Doctors had told him if he continued drinking
 he would die in six months time. He was trying hard to
 become sober for once in his life. I turned him onto
  smoking weed and he never took another drink for the
 rest of his life. [eight years]
      A couple years after he had died,I had gone on with
 my life after sorting out the impact of losing my Dad.
     I was sitting in the Radiator shop one day and some
 jerk comes in the door wanting to talk to Ed.
    I announced that I was Ed and asked him how I could help him. He dismissed me, and said he wanted to talk
 with "Ed the drunk." I thought for a second or two how
 I would respond.
       I invited him to take a short walk with me so he
 could "talk" to my Dad.
     My Father was cremated,and I had his remains
 stashed in a file cabinent in the back room of the shop.
   As we were walking towards the back room, I
 related a short story to this guy. I told him my
 dad had wanted to be buried,face down in our local
 bar..with his ass exposed,so anyone who had issues
 with him could kiss it.
     I then opened the file cabinent,Pulled out his
 remains, and told the dude he was free to talk to
 my Dad whenever he was ready.
      The guy got a strange look on his face and fled.
    I have no idea why I decided to handle that situation
 like I did, as it was kind of cruel and crude, but it
 felt right at the time...ya dig?
     This jerk's visit slapped me back into a memory
 date that I thought I had put to rest for a while.
     I'm not sure if my Dad would have approved of
 what I did with this situation, but I was compelled
 to do it,right or wrong.
     Mixey,
Maybe its a blessing that you didn't answer Pam's
 call, or meet her face-to-face. Being guilty about
 eating a box of ice cream is better than feeling guilty
 about beating on some poor bastards brain like I did.
   I didn't handle my situation very well, and my dark
 actions didn't make me feel very good. At least you
 attempted to get the bad taste removed from your
 mouth and I can relate to that.
 
 toad 
Down, and nearly out in Detroit......
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dream207 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2011 at 11:06am
Mixey,
 
I'm just seeing your posts now.  First, let me say I hope your Mom gets some answers soon and whatever it is is benign.  I know how frustrating the waiting can be - my imagination runs wild when that happens.
 
Second, I can't believe Pam called you like that.  How unfeeling, selfish and just plain stupid.  As much as she hurt Travis, this is good evidence  he was and would have been much better off without her.  I'm glad you didn't answer.  HOORAY for ice cream.Heart
 
dream
http://cdbaby.com/cd/eugenepitt
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote M I X E Y Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2011 at 4:05pm
I don't know what I'd do without you guys!!!!

Toad that guy was horrible to show up at your shop and demand to speak to "Ed the drunk". I would have taken him for a little walk too. That was very artful of you. Your father would have been proud; but I know it didn't make you feel good; and nothing you could have said differently would have eased your loss more. I wish you hadn't had to have gone through that. I hope there was someone there for you afterwards. You taught that guy a powerful lesson, without hitting him; but I understand how at the moment, you felt you lost some of yourself. I've experienced 3 times, where I wish I had been artful like you. Excellent piece of writing too, by the way!

Dream... thank you for your validation and for sending good wishes to Mom. I'll tell her.

Mixey
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jeff Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2011 at 6:36pm
 
Hi Mixey...
 
I'm sorry you had to listen to that girl's message, and sorry that it
affected you so. At least you chose a tasty and non-lethal way to
comfort yourself. (coffee ice cream!!! Mmmmm!!!)
 
I know you know this, but I'll just repeat it here for anybody else reading
this that might not have ever considered it before... an old saying that
rings true and unfortunately applies to lots of folks:
 
"Hurt people hurt people".
 
 
As surely as this girl wounded Travis by her actions, she was probably
unable to overcome those impulses herself (mistreating others), owing to
damage done to her back down the line ... and wounds of her own that
have not healed.
 
Well people do not mistreat other people. I'm guessing this girl was not well.
 
It's sad ... there is a world of walking wounded out there that hurt
others every day, and are either unaware of what their actions are doing to others,
or are incapable of caring. I know so many people like this... people with
unresolved issues going back years or decades that still hold them down
and cause unhealthy behavior. 
 
Sometimes I want to grab these people by the throat and slap them repeatedly
because they enrage me with their uncaring, hurtful behavior....
yet underneath this emotion I know in my heart it wouldn't help them;
it would only add another layer of hurt on top of the hurt they're carrying around.
 
Wounded is as wounded does.
 
 
  
Jeff
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote M I X E Y Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 13 2011 at 12:47pm
You're absolutely right Jeff, and so well put too. I've thought about this as well, especially over the past 2 1/2 years.

Pam's message affected me... yes... and I do know she's a damaged individual. I have not lost compassion for that part of her. It's just that the collective mass of compassion I have to have for all of the people who hurt my son is too much sometimes to manage. The reason it's "to much", is that at the base of all of the wrongdoings by others, there are my decisions with which I'm not happy. As his mom, I have such sadness that I couldn't have given him a better solution to deal with how he was feeling.

UPDATE...

Late last night... Pam called Geno, crying and saying she's been trying to get in touch with me.   She only called me once recently; but she's been over to the studio too I now know, which explains the trampled plants in front of one of the windows of the little house. She told Geno that her last interaction with Travis ended badly.

I'll listen to what she has to say, if the situation presents itself... but keeping in mind exactly what you said Jeff... hurt people hurt people.


Mixey
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote M I X E Y Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 27 2012 at 4:11pm
Hi everyone...

I just wanted to let you know that I've been reading here; but I have not been writing up a storm lately, because I've been helping Mom.

On Friday Feb 17th, Mom underwent major surgery to remove a noninvasive tumor from the top of her right thigh. All went extremely well, and we're back home after spending only 4 days and nights in the hospital.

Mom is 86 years old, and truly remarkable in many ways, especially for her patience and her ability to adhere to whatever is required of her to support her health. We're thankful this mass is finally gone. It had grown to 12 POUNDS in a period of only a few months. It's been a crazy situation, and very confounding to several doctors, who had ASSUMED it was something other than what it was.

Their assuming process, and continuing delays in scheduling tests, caused us to go through the holidays from Thanksgiving through Christmas and New Years to Valentine's Day of this year, with bittersweet enjoyment plus an underlying layer of imposed, emotional brutality.

FINALLY, we got a referral to a different surgeon... supposedly the only one here in San Diego who would know how to handle a limb saving surgery of this size... a surgery THAT HAD BECOME this size!

The new surgeon's office ran like a machine... NO PROBLEMS in communication. OMG what a difference! The hospital as well... in a different system than the first, was FANTASTIC!!

When they wheeled Mom in for surgery, she thought for sure that after all of this time, she was going to die on the table. I felt that it wasn't her time, but her fear level really got to me, knowing that sometimes fear is a determining factor.

When the surgeon came out to talk with me, and told me he had sucessfully removed everything all in one piece, I didn't know whether to fall apart or hug him! He had removed the alien from Mom's leg, in a 2 1/2 hour surgery. AMAZING!

Mom was waiting for me in the recovery room, with a huge smile on her face! It was wonderful; and we spent the next few days in the hospital, being served with all sorts of help and encouragement. Her surgeon came to talk with her every day; and physical therapy began right away.

Mom's 5'7" and weighs about 145. She's not a big woman... so you can imagine what it was like to have a 12 pound thing growing out of her leg! Now she's missing 3/4 of her quadracep muscles in her right thigh; and she has to wear a brace for now, and walk with a walker, until the range of what she will be able to do is established... a far cry from where we were last year, planning a casual walk across the Golden Gate Bridge.

Tomorrow, we will go to her first post-op Dr appointment. Maybe he'll remove the wire stitches. We'll see.

This has been a huge challenge, that Mom's taking on with optimism and courage. I'm amazed and inspired by her!

Anyway... that's what's been going on here. The ups and downs of life have to be lived however they happen for whatever reason. I have no answers to anything, except to know how I feel like living my own life. When I listen to people, who speak and behave like they have a lock on the meaning of life and the beyond for everyone else (adherence to any religion... anywhere in the world... but all the while, making life more difficult for someone else), I know that that's not the way I enjoy living.

That's about all I can say, except to send more HUGE THANK YOUS to Geno and Mike & Susan for being there for Mom and me.    Love you...

& Love all of you here...

Mixey
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dream207 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 27 2012 at 6:12pm
WOW!!!!!!!
 
What a touching and heartfelt story, Mixey.  I'm so glad your Mom came through with flying colors, and I have no doubt your love and support carried her through.  She sounds like a remarkable lady in many ways.  She raised you, and that tells me all I need to know.
 
Please keep us posted on her recovery.  I hope things get much better for both of you, medically and emotionally.  Way to go in finding the right surgeon!!Clap
 
I'm happy for both of you.  Much love and big HUGZ.HugHeartHug
 
dream
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dream207 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 27 2012 at 6:23pm

For Mixey's Mom

 
 
HugHeartHug
 
~~dream~~
http://cdbaby.com/cd/eugenepitt
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gene_Leone_Mix Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 27 2012 at 11:35pm

Mixey & Mixeys' Mom!!!
F A N T A S T I C


Really glad to be reading this here.
This really is, an inspiring real life story with a good outcome, and it's great to hear some positive news about all of it.

And Dream, a Great Big Ditto!   
(((I laughed and thought for a second... Ya know, this calls for a good old SP celebration... with some "balloons", too!)))

And to Mixey's Mom, just keep getting better!!!!


~BigLove To All! Geno


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jeff Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 28 2012 at 8:30am
Hi Mixey...
 
Yikes! What an ordeal... I am very glad to hear that you and your Mom got
a good outcome! Your Mom must be quite a trooper. I'm having a hard
time visualizing a 12 lb. tumor in a human thigh.   Wacko
 
Your story underscores the most important factor in any medical situation:
patients being their own best advocate.
 
So many people are willing to just accept the opinions of their
doctors without asking questions and pushing back... and are also willing
to accept shoddy treatment from their doctors. This is why there are
so many bad outcomes with treatment. Doctors aren't the bosses of us;
WE are THEIR employers. Bad or indifferent doctors deserve to be fired.
Doing this can mean the difference between life or death.
Mixey's story reflects this all-too-common reality.
 
Cheers to you and Mom!
 
 
 
Jeff
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote M I X E Y Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 28 2012 at 8:51pm
Hi Dream & Geno & Jeff!!!

I just read and showed your posts to Mom. She wasn't aware that she had your thoughts in her direction today until now. She's very touched and surprised. THANK YOU SO MUCH!   

Today, we went to Mom's first post-op Dr appointment. They took the stitches out, which was a little uncomfortable to Mom, but no real pain. She came through it easily; but I wonder how much of it is actually due to Mom's determination to push through it. I was watching the whole thing; and It didn't look like nothing to me... clipping and pulling... some of the pulling was less than smooth, but well done. I told Mom that maybe she should enjoy the numbness, of which I'm now convinced might be pretty significant.

I'm a little concerned over Mom's knee area, which has some edema around it. They don't seem to think it's alarming, given the surgery; but I have a feeling she may have slightly injured her knee a bit in addition to the surgery.

Jeff... lol YES 12 pounds! I'm debating whether I should post a picture. Poor Mom has to put up with a daughter who has no shame... regarding her, anyway. Your words are very kind Dream, but sometimes I'm also a twisted daughter.

You're so right about being an advocate for one's self Jeff. Some Docs are not much more than life support systems for an ego, which doesn't leave much room for actually caring for someone else... sorry to say. ... and especially out here in CA, there seems to be a HUGE focus on retaining the Hollywood Dr look... you know... the Gray's Anatomy tossed hair and unshaved devotion to the cause of taking on too many patients. No problem... just shoot up with steroids and stimulants and assure your patients that you have access to good drugs. I'm taking notes on all of it.

Anyway... today was a good day. THANK YOU GENO! As usual, you've been my rock, especially on the phone, while I was waiting to see Mom in the recovery room. Thank you for being there.

Yes... time to celebrate a bit!

XO
Mixey



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote M I X E Y Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 18 2012 at 6:13pm
Today... it rained some more here in sunny Southern California. Two days in a row... yahoo! The plants outside are very happy, and it's been a restful Sunday for Mom and me... a day without Doctors, Nurses, Physical or Occupational Therapists, etc... a seemingly endless parade of help and care of late, which is both wonderful and emotionally taxing at the same time.

Yesterday... we had a very nice nurse come over to take a look at Mom's incision. She took 3 hours to look and talk and figure out how to dress and re-wrap Mom's thigh! I was hoping to receive some valuable pointers, but instead, I thought I was going to lose my mind, while waiting for a glimmer of good material to be delivered in my direction.

After 3 hours, the nursing session finally concluded with me suggesting maybe a little debridement in one area, a manual expression of a small seroma (which I believe was caused by incomplete stitch removal), and possibly an enzyme wrap. The nurse was a bit dumbfounded and complied. I handed her a magnifying glass, and offered to show her how I wrap up Mom's leg, I said, so she could give me some pointers. It was a little embarrassing, because I did it all in a minute or so, and it looked better than what she had been trying to do. The ace bandage was rolling into a rubber band up near the top of Mom's thigh, while she kept doing it over and over, and I thought poor Mom would have to lie there for another 1/2 hour if I didn't step in. OMG!

I've placed this seemingly boastful post here to illustrate the fact that while professionals in any help field may be well intended, caring and helpful... do your homework, trust your instincts, voice your ideas... and don't wait 3 hours like I did to step in, while stupidity is hard at work. I kept trying to make excuses and maybe blame myself somehow for someone else's ineffectuality. If this happens to you... and you feel you know better... speak up... step in... just do it!

Mixey
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gene_Leone_Mix Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 31 2012 at 3:28pm
Mixey,
Thinking about, and remembering Trav today.
It's hard to imagine that three years has now gone by on this day.
RIP Trav.
~Geno



Originally posted by Gene_Leone_Mix Gene_Leone_Mix wrote:

Mixey,
As we have talked about so many times...
there no doubt, that Trav's presence is still, very much, right here with us.

~MuchLove,
Geno


Mixey.
Travis's presence is still very much, right here with us.
Much Love To You & Your Mom on this day.
~Geno







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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote M I X E Y Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 01 2012 at 2:51am
Thank you Geno.
I appreciate and love you more than words can express.
This was a very difficult day for Mom and me.

Travis... 3 years,
but you are always in my dreams and always in my heart.

   ... and as always and forever...
Love,
Mom
xoxo
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gene_Leone_Mix Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 31 2012 at 1:30pm
Mixey,

Having a quiet moment,
remembering Travis today,
on his birthday.





MuchLove to You, and Your Mom,
~Geno
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