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Domestic Abuse - A Shocking 20/20 Story

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Gene_Leone_Mix View Drop Down
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Joined: Apr 20 2007
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    Posted: Jan 05 2008 at 7:50am

Domestic Abuse - A Shocking 20/20 Story



Horrible. And this stuff goes on like some progressive fatal disease... a little worse each day, day after day, and usually while cameras are NOT rolling somewhere.
Thank goodness, for this battered woman, a camera was rolling here.
(Obviously he is a very very sick man. Can someone like this guy ever, ever really be helped or successfully rehabilitated...? Does a successful outcome for a sick person and family suffering like this ever really happen?)
The punishment that this abuser received was prison, prison to the max, but IMHO, the punishment still only scratches the surface of what most of us would consider "justice" for what he did to his own spouse, and to his own family. Beyond Horrible.

(Special thanks to k94Rocks for posting this info and video in a MySpace bulletin.)

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dream207 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dream207 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 05 2008 at 8:10am
Oprah did two shows with this woman and interviewed two of the children in the second show.
 
One statistic that stands out to me is it takes 7 tries on average for a woman to get out of a domestic abuse situation.  It demonstrates how damaging psychological and emotional abuse can be.  Many women who come out of these situations alive claim that abuse is worse than the physical.  The abusers strip them of every ounce of self esteem and self worth.  Their egos are in the toilet.  They've been isolated from friends and family and believe what the perpetrator drums into them.
 
It's a long climb out of these sorts of doldrums.  We should all do what we can to support domestic violence organizations that help these women and children.
 
The judge really impressed me.  I'd love to see many more sentences like the one he handed to this sick SOB.
 
Can these abusive men/or women ever be rehabilitated??  I have my doubts.  Many are sociopaths who grew up in abusive households and began their path of psychological and physical destruction as youngsters abusing other children and animals.
 
dream
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote M I X E Y Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 05 2008 at 12:07pm
One thing people. . . men as well as women (men are abused by women as well). . . need to know loud and clear, is that there are no levels of abuse. . . it's ALL abuse!!
 
I have been in an abusive situation twice.
 
My husband was insanely jealous.  I was accused of all sorts of bullshit.  He wanted to divide me from friends. . . and conquer me into submission of some sort.
 
We had been together for 4 years, before we got married.  The day we married, was the first day he showed me his true self.  All of a sudden he was THE BOSS, and he OWNED me.
 
The end of the relationship came 2 years later. . . not quickly enough.  
 
He threw me on the bed. . . and began to force me into having sex, which instead caused the bedroom to look like a demo crew had had a party there.
 
I threw clothes on and went to my girlfriend's place a couple of doors up.
 
Our son was asleep in his crib in his room through the whole thing.  I felt that I had to go back for him.  So after a couple of hours, I did.
 
There was my husband. . . sitting on the couch on top of all of my clothes that he'd thrown there from my closet.  He was drinking a beer and he had a knife in his hand.  When he threatened to kill himself, I breathed a sigh of relief.
 
I knew that I had to figure out what to do fast.  I called the battered women's hotline when it became daylight.  They set me up with a safe house near LA for me and my son.  We went there for a couple of days.
 
I didn't feel comfortable at the safe house.  Some of the women were acting bizarre.  I knew I had to get work and be on my own, but I wasn't sure how to get this going with an infant. . . and starting with no money.
 
I went back to our home.  My husband was apologizing profusely. I figured that the apologizing mode would buy some time, but not much.
 
That's about the time I got involved with a martial artist. . . gee I wonder why. . . and at the same time. . . was called back to Philly, because my Dad had a serious unknown illness.
 
Bottom line. . . I moved on from my abusive husband, who still to this day thinks he owns me.
 
Relationship 2 was with a white guy. . . no different at all.  He was jealous as hell as well.  AFTER my friend, the martial artist died, he became abusive. 
 
He threw me up against the wall, because I forgot his birthday. A month later, he drained my bank account. . . kept the rent money, stole my car and moved in with a friend.  My son (then 15) and I were evicted 2 months later.
 
I was able to recoup, but not without placing more stress on my already stressed son. These kinds of situations are horrible for children.
 
Bottom line. . . abuse is abuse. . . it doesn't matter who it comes from. . . or how it's delivered. . . or why. 
 
If someone is hurtful towards you. . . get the hell away from them.  I stayed too long. . . and as far as most looking on. . . it appears that I got away in a hurry. . . not so.  It should have been immediate and permanent.
 
NO there is NO rehabilitation for these people.  They are who they are.  They move on to another victim, or write stories about how they've changed. . . and spread the bullshit around.
 
If someone is abusive. . . PICK UP THE KIDS AND RUN LIKE HELL.  If the kids are old enough to take sides. . . PICK UP YOURSELF AND RUN LIKE HELL. 
 
It's not worth it to try and do a convincing job on people, from the platform of being a victim. Kids can be abusive too.  It doesn't make it OK to endure it just because they're your kids.  Mine gave me a broken finger.  He's got mental problems. . . etc. for sure. . . but the reason for the abuse doesn't really matter. 
 
If you can help someone who wants to be helped that's great.  If not. . . love them from a distance. 
 
Adults who do not have an actual illness, and abuse those whom they supposedly love, are screwed up for good. . . no cure, IMO.  Move away.
 
Mixey
 
 
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